Friday, March 30, 2012

Only 127 Days

I'm crazy because I love you

So much.

I don't hate life without you 
(when you aren't around) I just intensely dislike it.

I'm glad we could share our ups and downs.
I am so lucky to have you--I forget sometimes.

I am needy. That's a fact. You don't help much--always moving heaven and earth to be with me no matter what.

I am going to love you

You always make me laugh. 
Even when I'm crying and have "the rage".

Life is going to be wonderful when we are married. 
Let's just not forget to celebrate the now. 

You'll never fulfill my Carlos time quota :)
I can never get enough. 


Saturday, March 24, 2012

. . .

What a Friday.
So many tears.

I want to go to business school so badly.
It almost hurts.
I take the GMAT next Sat.

During conference.
Conflict of interest?
I think so.

Carlos thinks I focus on silly things.
They might be silly to him, but not to me.
I'm tired.

Moving up to Thanksgiving point for work.
I don't know if it's worth it.
I love everyone there though.
Not to mention I got to take home a kick-a@@ mac over the weekend.

I'm scared I'll break it.
It's so pretty.
I'm silly.

It's Saturday.
One more week.
Pooping in my pants?
Of course.

Temple always puts everything in perspective.
Even when you get annoyed.

Cookies and Cinnamon toast crunch.
So much for a diet.

Just can't wait for mawwiage.


Friday, March 23, 2012

Moving On

It's all been done and said.
Done with my contract.
I am not going to be living in the Granary any longer.
Contract is in the works to be be sold.

The Lord works in small and mysterious ways.
No more confrontations.
No more hatred.
No more awkward looks.

Less snuggle-time.
Less relax time.
Less Carlos n' me time.

But overall happiness because I don't have to deal with crazy people anymore.
Those that get jealous about everything because they don't have things to do.

I'll have to live with my parentals until I get married.
Perfectly acceptable by me. Especially since I have less than 4 months until I am getting hitched.

Then, I'll only have one roommate.
One person to focus on.
Until we have kids. :)


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm coming home. Tell the world I'm coming home.

It's decided. I've given up.

Back home. Again.

But this time--it's the last time.


A look into the future

I've got a dilemma on my hands.

Do I leave a place where I am not comfortable?
But I get to see my honey bunny 24/7?

Or do I go back home, where no one hates me. Where no one is jealous.
But, I sacrifice the wonderfulness of being 30 seconds away from best friend?

Is it worth it to be so far away, but where I have peace of mind?
Or is it worth the problem that it's going to be?

I'm not sure.
On one hand, we'll both be getting more sleep for sure.

Curfew is around 11 pm at my house. (if we are lucky).

But, I'll save money. Eat better.

Writing it down makes me realize that it's no contest.

I'm going home. 

It's only until early August. Honestly, I hardly even count August, since we are getting married the 4th. 
I don't think it even qualifies as a month that we have to wait.

I can't wait.
To be with my prince.
To have our own place.

To cook whenever we want.
To nap where we please.
To yell when we get the chance.
To have tickle fights when the time is right.

And to kiss whenever we want--without someone breathing down our necks.

137 more days. 

Monday, March 19, 2012

Love Yourself. Respect It.

It's been a long Monday.
The type where you don't know if you are going to make it the rest of the week.

But all in all, I feel almost at home when I go to work.

People may hate my guts and may want to slay me every time they see me, but hey, they don't have love.

This is what I figured out:
If you don't feel like you have love--look around you--there is evidence of love all around.

If you feel like you will never have a chance at love, love yourself first. If you are a mean, bitter person, no one will ever love you. Plain and simple.

Instead of sitting in your apartment moping about how YOU don't  have a boyfriend, or a significant other, take a good look at yourself.

Often, those that are the happiest aren't those that are engaged or dating, they are those that are confident with themselves. Don't sit at home alone wishing you had your roommates life.

Love yourself. 

You might think that losing weight, tanning, coloring your hair and changing everything on the outside will make boys notice you.

It might. For a while.

But there's nothing more attractive to a good man (which is the type you want), than a confident girl.

You might think that there's no way someone can love you because you get angry easily, you eat sweets too much, you cry about everything, you don't work at work, your like revenge, you throw tantrums when you have to read scriptures, you get annoyed about everything...but yet...

Someone loves me. It's the best feeling you could ever ask for.

Love yourself.

Heavenly Father does.
Trust him.
You are absolutely worth loving.
You just have to believe it.


Saturday, March 17, 2012

I Need to Vent

Fact: I get mad really easily. 

Carlos jokes with me that I am a rage machine. Sometimes I am. Don't mess with me when I am in traffic driving home.

Fact: There are many things that people do that set me off. 

Snide looks, mean comments, if you want to say it to me, say it to my face.

Fact: You mess with my fiancĂ©, you mess with me. 

Just thought you'd like to know.
There's nothing more hurtful when people figure out the best way to hurt you is by hurting the person that you love the most.

So many choice swears that I have right now.
So many.

Or so few I guess.

But is it really worth it to give importance to individuals that are less to you than dirt? 

Fact: I hate cowards. 

Sincerity is one of the most important things that I look for in the people that associate with.

Fact: I have a hard time letting things go. 

Once you wrong me, there's a lot that you have to do for me to trust you again.

Fact: I like revenge. 

Once, my brother said something that made me rage. How did I get back? I salted his fish. Really, don't tempt me. I don't have much remorse when I am convince I am in the right.

Instead of sleeping. I'm thinking of caniving ways to get back at those that have wronged me. I won't ever act upon it, but it helps me sleep better at night.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Letters and Macaroons

Yes, I watched the finale of the Bachelor with Carlos. 
What a show. 

I've also been maddingly pinning things on Pinterest for my wedding. 

I got this gem (above picture) in the mail. I am so unbelievably excited. Oh gosh. 
It's real. I am getting married. Yahoo! 

2:00 pm, August 4th
I'm getting married. 
Words cannot describe how excited I am. 

This weekend I also tried to make the hottest trending dessert--french macaroons. You could say I failed. It was a lot of work for some stupid cookies. I'll stick to buying french macaroons--if I ever want to buy them anyways. 

Thursday, March 8, 2012

My Convictions

Of these things I am absolutely certain of:

1. I love Carlos with all my heart--more if that was possible.
2. I'm getting married August 4th, 2011 in the Draper temple. 

3. Vacuuming at 3 in the morning for cleaning checks the next day is positively rude. Wait until the next day people.
4. Being the first one to sign up for cleaning checks always leads to the easiest jobs.
5. Sabotaging my roommates is a dream of mine. 
6. Zumba never fails to make me happy.
7. I've cried more in this week than the past two months.
8. I'm always going to be waiting for something.
9. I'll always be addicted to Diet Mt. Dew. It's my drug of choice. 

10. I behave like a 10 year old girl when I don't get my way. Crying, temper tantrum--the works.
11. Patience is not a virtue I will ever acquire. Ever. 
12. If I don't do well on this GMAT, I am going to probably rip my hair out.
13. My best friend is going to miss my wedding. 
14. Tiny Village is probably the stupidest, but most addicting flash game you can own.

15. I'll never have enough gas in my car.
16.  Finding new camera apps make my day 47.23 times better.
17. Don't ever drink Diet Mt. Dew before bed. That, combined with being a light sleeper, thinking about wedding plans, and roommates getting up at 5 to clean leads for a very, very bad night's sleep. 
18. I will never make anyone happy if I'm not happy first.
19. I'm ready to enjoy being engaged.
20. The Lord always knows what he's doing. Even though sometimes I don't feel like it. 
21. Pinterest is the goddess of all websites.
22. I want to own a Yogurtland franchise. I'll go broke if I don't buy one. 


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Easy Peesy . . . Yeah Right

Once you get engaged, isn't it supposed to be easy?

It seems like just about everyone (family included) is making sure that our special day can't happen.

It's frustratingly stupid. It seems like everyone is more concerned about their convenience rather than focusing on our happiness.

Annoyed much?


And there's nothing I can do about it. 

Guess I'll go treat myself to some Yogurtland. That always seems to help. 


Friday, March 2, 2012

Hanging with the Bestie

Seriously, what a glorious week it has been.
I've been on cloud 9 for about 3 days straight.
It's been incredible, wonderful.

Anyways, my greatest gal-pal, Cec (who recently got her mission call and is involved in a slew of activities) texted me and told me her day was open. I lept at the chance to hang out with her. Our outings have been few and far in between. (Mostly because we used to live with each other and would practically spend every waking moment together).

We decided on a splendidly simple, yet "totally us" day. It worked out perfectly because Carlos had a test to stress about, and I didn't want to be bothering him about it.

The gym and Yogurtland.
You can't get better than that.

We killed ourselves at the gym, musing about how we were glad that we didn't choose Yogurtland first. It would have been all over the gym floor.

Then, in true Neltje and Cec fashion, we embarked on an adventure.

Cec had given some people a ride.

They forgot their wallet in her car.

She, being the good person she is, had to return it to them.  On a practically empty tank of gas. I was a shiverin' that we would get stranded in a sketch neighborhood.

I was along for the ride. Quite lit'rally. We concluded that we wouldn't get murdered because Cec was going on a mission, and I'm getting married. We are basically death-proof right now. Right? Right?

After a couple awkward  moments at the door of a guy that couldn't understand Cec (and she the same), we departed, off to The Land.

Oh The Land.
Good chats and yogurt.

Nothing beats best friends and yogurt.
Except for being engaged to the love of your life.
Cheese. I know.
Sorry 'bout that.
Can't help it.


Thursday, March 1, 2012

There's Only One Way to Say, These 3 Words: I Love You

Warning: totally, completely cheese-laden post full of gushy musings, and romantic reflections. If you aren't a romantic, stop reading, or have a bucket beside you. You have been warned. 

It started as a normal Tuesday. I was not really looking forward to work, seeing as I had not that much sleep. I even got up 10 minutes early to see Carlos at work, since he works overnights on Mondays--and I was going to take him some oatmeal cookies that I made! I stumbled upon this little treat when I opened my door! Instead of looking at what it was , I waited a little bit, got ready, and picked up all the treats. I actually didn't notice the note until I picked up the stuffed animals. How cute!

The note read (paraphrased):
Bet you didn't expect this. We are always talking about running away, so let's do it today. Bring walking shoes, a camera (duh Iphone), and get ready to celebrate a day of love! 

Well, at first. I thought, this is IT. This is the day he's going to finally propose! Mind you, Valentine's was two weeks I wasn't expecting much. But, I didn't want to get my hopes up (if he was in fact, tricking me). So, I thought, relax. It's just going to be a fun day. Don't expect anything.

How could you not expect anything with this kind of surprise waiting for you? I now have a herd of stuffed animals thanks to Carlos. The one in the bottom left hand corner was the original one that I got last Valentine's day. Upon finding these, my heart was filled with joy. I was all sorts of nervous.

I was ready to go--except for the fact that it was Tuesday, and I just had to go to work. Carlos told me to tell Don (my supervisor) that I was sick, and as the rule breaker I am, I quickly Skyped my boss and told him I was ill. (psh yeah right) Then I thought, well, what the heck, it's one day. Just one day, it won't kill me to miss it!

Carlos later told me he was afraid I might bail out on him and go to work. I thought he was insane. Why would I ever refuse a day with Carlos and go to work instead? Maybe in an alternate universe.
I was rearing and ready to go! Carlos told me that we were headed to IHOP. Since it was the 28th, IHOP had a promotion where they were giving away free stacks! Um, how could I not go! It was free food! I could never pass up and opportunity for free food. So our first stop was IHOP. I've never been with Carlos, so it was an adventure in itself.
Us in front of Ihop. If only I had any idea what this day would hold! Inside we met Miss Uintah Basin--she was also missing her eyebrows. She was possibly one of the scariest people I've ever seen.

Anyways...yay IHOP.
Carlos really loved his pancakes. Doesn't he just look simply dashing with his blue shirt and yellow tie?
I was really enjoying my pancakes. So much, that we joked it look like blood.

As a fan of Walking Dead, I wanted to be super bad A and I pretended I was killing my "zombie-style" pancakes. And they got it. I murdered them good.
Some lady came around and gave us chocolates for donating to a little girl who didn't have an immune system. Carlos took the opportunity to tell me how that disease worked--go him. My lil' microbiologist.

After IHOP, we hopped in the car. We began our trek north. Carlos keep looking at his handy dandy mapquest map (don't we all love that it gives great directions?). He should have asked me to tell him how to get there--guess that would have ruined the surprise.
I forgot to mention that it was snowing the whole time we were driving up to SLC. We got to the zoo, there was no one there.

This was Carlos' reaction to the fact that we would have to walk around the zoo while it was snowing. (and that I have been to the zoo before--I guess he didn't realize that I used to volunteer at the zoo when I was a lil' teenager) He no happy.

Me on the other hand, I was happy that I got to skip work, and spend time with the man that I love, and go to the zoo! I love the zoo.
The snakes.
It was really neat because it seemed like a lot of the animals were really active when we were there. It may have been because we were the only ones there and that it was a cold day, so the animals were trying to keep warm.
The porcupines. Imagine getting hit by those quills!
The tigers were probably the best part of the zoo that day. The had this awesome exhibit (Asian inspired) that was a bit racist--there was an old bike as part of an exhibit--which implied that Asians ride bikes. Carlos and I talked at length about that...
Such a beautiful creature.
He was rolling around in the snow. Gosh, I just wanted to rub his belly. And then get mauled to death.

Stupid turkeys. So ugly. I would have shot it if a zoo keeper wasn't watching. Happy thanksgiving!
The monkeys were also very active. This one reminds me of the capuchin that we used to have. Yes, we had a money. JGOI. (just get over it)

Cute lil' chipmunk.

These orangutans were so beautiful.
They must have been bored because they were really interested in us.
Like really interested. They got up close and personal with us. It was one of the coolest things that I've gotten to see. It was so cool to see how alike they are to us.

It was a mom and dad orangutan. Aren't they just beautiful?
They really liked us!
He was so huge!

The giraffes were silly. Such big, awkward creatures.
Hur, hur. Hi giraffe. I think he like Carlos. The best part? He pooped right in front of us. The poops were a lot smaller than we expected...
Carlos really wanted to touch one of these guys.

This was the female tigress. What a beast. She kept pacing back and forth.

The Utah Hogle Zoo! Even though it was snowing, we had a great time there.
Us being happy that we got to skip a day of life. Then Carlos told me we were going to the SLC temple to do baptisms. We had to get back to Provo because I needed to meet with my GMAT tutor. I was disheartened because I didn't really see him proposing before then. I thought, what a waste of a day! I guess he's throwing me off!
It was snowing like the Dickens when we got out of the temple. Carlos wasn't too happy waiting for me. Can you tell by the look on his face? He just wanted to eat.

He thought we would eat outside, but, the weather got the best of him, and we had to eat in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building (with all of the fancy LDS restaurants). We were pretty cool with our sack lunch.

Us in front of the temple. We had just done baptisms, and we were loving life. It was such a calm, peaceful feeling to be in the temple with the one that you love.
Carlos made this deelish sandwich. I seriously could not get enough of it! I don't know what it was about that sandwich, but I was loving it. He also brought along Triscuits and an apple. It was a simple meal, but so very yummy!

By then, I had pretty much given up on Carlos proposing. We had to head back to good old Provo because I was meeting with Emily to help me with the GMAT. I wasn't particularly thrilled because our day seemed like it was going to end. Carlos got my hopes up though because he told me that "The best was yet to come". I was feeling a bit tired from all of the activities that we had done, and I was grateful for a break. I was only gone for an hour, so I quickly went back to my apartment and fixed my post-temple hair. Carlos told me we were going to re-visit the places that we've had some good memories.
Up at the Y. Where he first asked me to be his official girlfriend.

At the bell tower, where we had our first kiss.

Aren't we a couple of goofballs?

The Y! It was such a beautiful day! Snow, sunshine, it was so fantastic.

I pretended to have a seizure here. Because I did it once when Carlos and I went up to campus. He thought I was very silly.

I am.
Hheelp. Me. Iiim havggging a seizuure.
Where we had some good discussions by Heritage Halls.

Where we had our first Valentine's together. Doesn't Carlos look fly in those sunglasses?

Freak. We've still not gone to the top of the JFSB! I remember that we wanted to go there on our first date. No luck this time.
Look at that view we were missing!
My favorite drinking fountain at BYU. It purifies the water.
Where we sat for our first date. I was wearing a onesie and it was a beautiful day outside.

Then, he blindfolded me and took me somewhere. (Before he had to fill up on gas, and then we argued about where to get gas) ooops.

At first I had no idea where we were going, but as the road began to curve, and I heard Carlos say, "shoot I missed it", I knew we were headed up to Sundance.
We ate at the Tree Room. Can you say classy? It was so good. So yummy. We felt really out of place because everyone there was so sophisticated and cool.

I got this steak that was to die for. Carlos got duck (I think he wished that he got the steak too).

Before dinner, I got to show him around my favorite place (and where I might want to get my engagements done). It was so beautiful. It was just right.
Got me some raspberry lemonade. There simply wasn't enough raspberry for my lemonade!

We got there a little early and I was able to take Carlos on a mini tour of Sundance. We got to sit in the library (which was the waiting room for the Tree Room) and I thought that I saw a box-like (ring like) thing in his pocket. I was so relieved. I thought, this is it, he is going to propose!

(I later found out that he didn't even have the ring on him--it was just his phone) 
Carlos' duck. Yummy. Not as good as my steak though.

Gah it was so beautiful! 

He then blindfolded me. This is when I began to get nervous. Was he going to ask me? Was he going to do it? Ohmmmmgeeee!

But, I still had no idea.

We finally stopped. Guess where we were, The Draper temple. Oh yes.

Why else would we be infront of the temple? To have a good ol' time?

Carlos pulled out some wine glasses (we are pretty much obsessed. Then, he said he wanted to get out and go over to the temple.
Mind you, it was freeeeeezing. 

We got down, and my heart was pounding. Was this it? Was this where Carlos was going to finally propose? The wind was blowing and our hair was whipping back and forth. (Well, only mine). Carlos pulled out this book, and it had a story of two people and the story of their lives. I was kind of glad that it was so cold, because I was going to bawl my eyes out. The moment was perfect. 

Then, I finished the book, my eyes were glistening with tears, and I looked to the man that I love. He positioned me right in front of the doors of the temple. He looked at me, and it seemed like everything around us stopped. It was just me and Carlos. It seemed to be very fast and very slow all at the same time. 

He got down on one knee. 

He asked me to marry him. 

I nearly tackled him. 

I was crying, he was laughing. 
It was perfect. 

Our hands were freezing. Our cheeks were cold. But I had the most, absolutely, wonderful man that I can call my fiance. And not to mention a bomb ring. 

This is what your room looks like after you've spend a whole entire day with the man you love. It looks like some one exploded. I hardly had time to even clean this up when I got back. I was too excited, too nervous, too giddy to even think about cleaning. I shoved everything off my bed and on the floor, and I snuggled up with my stuffed animals, and my newly diamond graced hand, and fell fast asleep.
This is my ring. Not a picture from pinterest, but my very own ring. I still can't believe it's mine, and Carlos is my very own.

He's my fiance. Fiance. It sounds so crazy to say. Just wait until he's my husband.

Ps, isn't this carpet just great? Carlos loves it. I took it at work. Because Carlos was bothering me about putting one up on Facebook.

So, Carlos and I. Me and Carlos. 
We haven't picked a date. 
We haven't picked a temple. 
We've got lots to do--and so little time. 
But I'm going to be Mrs. Carlos Grandela. 
And we are going to be doing this together. Forever. 

Forever in my book is just right for me.