Saturday, February 5, 2011

I Put my new shoes on. . .

This past week and a half has been a whirlwind of emotions. A whirlwind of plans, of texting all day, of laughter, of 10 hour dates, of late nights, of new-ness. And I love it.

I have nothing to complain about. I am just as happy as a clam. I have late-night chats with my best friend..which leads to laughter and reflection. I am so grateful I was lucky enough to live with her.Besides the fact that my sleep has been...well, lacking. I mean, there are lil' things that have gotten me down, but you know, it's ok, it's freakin life!!!

To quote a Disney movie, Meet the Robinsons, "Failing teaches you so much more, you don't learn half as much when you succeed." That's what is is in life. We can't be sure of everything. No matter how well it is going--I can't help but taking a step back and being unsure. I did this when I was walking to meet my new amigo. I just felt so overwhelmed, like I wasn't good enough. What was I doing there? I got really confused. I put on a front that I am so confident, when, inside, I am probably the most terrified one out of everyone. I guess I am all about reinforcement. Maybe because I never got that when I was growing up. I never really have been praised for my accomplishments, it's always been why aren't you doing more? Which I guess is ok. It makes me want more for myself.

I still don't know what I am going to do with my future. I am clueless. Except for one thing--this one boy. And even with that, I am so unsure. But if I was sure about everything, wouldn't that defeat the purpose of why I am here? It seems like he is so good for me right now. But then again. . .This boy is exactly what I need right now. I think. I hope. I am going for the gold on this one, which means, I am not going to hold back, I am going to do what I thinkis right.

But, right now, my life is like a new pair of shoes. I can't wait to wear em'. It's going to take a little bit to break em' in. . but I have a feelin' these shoes just might be my favorite yet!

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