Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sitting across from you. . .

As I sit across from you, you catch my eye. Your mouth twitches upward, into that smile I love. Your eyes twinkle, which I know you just thought of something mischievous. You keep my gaze for just a second longer, but just a little longer than friends would, then I wonder, what do you think?

When I talk to you, what do you think?

When I smile at you, what do you think?

When I laugh with you, what do you think?

When I cry to you, what do you think?

I sit across from you, studying your face, not understanding. How can you be the one that I confide in the most, but yet, you seem like the one that I understand the least? How can I know you so well, but at the same time, you are an absolute stranger? It's not fair. You think you have me so figured out, but you don't. There are so many things about me you don't know. How can I be so completely in "like" with you? It's all there, but it's not. Why must time be the enemy?

I just don't understand. I guess there are things that are never meant to be understood in life, and this is one of them. But I thank you. You have made me a far better person than when I met you. Thank you. No seriously. Despite the heartache and pain you have put me through--I thank you. I have changed so much in the short time I have known you. Doesn't that make you curious what our lives would be like together?? You think that you don't push me, you think I have everything figured out, truth is: I don't. We make each other so much better. Sometimes I think I think I need you a lot more than you need me. That's why I try to be the strong one; so you need me. The words of that one song come to mind: "I want you to want me, I need you to need me".

But still, sitting across from you. . .every second I spend with you. . .makes me realize how much I am the one that needs you.

I guess I will just always be sitting across from you, wondering and waiting.

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